Foreigners

The other day I was eating my 香辣鸡片儿 (xiang1 la4 ji1 pianr1) during a short lunch break on an otherwise long Saturday, generally enjoying the fine, oily, crispy greatness of it all (crispy fried chicken slices with hot red peppers, carrots, and spicy green pepper.. mmmm). Well, not so much enjoying as devouring... I quickly swallowed most of it, being quite hungry after teaching two classes on an empty stomach. Upon nearing the end of the heavenly dish, I gently set aside a carrot to uncover one of the last green peppers.... only to find a large silver thumbtack. You know, the kind your kindergarten teacher used to use to pin your stick figure art to the bulletin board. And there it sat, piercing the delicious skin of the final pepper, daring me to continue. More than anything, I was disappointed that I couldn't eat the last few bites of my meal. But to inspire some office conversation I proclaimed, "Huh. Look at that. A thumbtack. Right there in my xiang la (we abbrev. our Chinese to sound cool and knowledgeable when in the office). See?" Whereupon I proffered my dish at the others so that they could have a look see.

I was instantly implored to take it to the front desk and have them call the restaurant. This was unacceptable! A thumbtack??! Get your free lunch! Give that restaurant hell! Make sure it doesn't happen again! Typical reaction, right? Well I have to say, I just didn't care. Stuff happens. Things fall into food. Whatever. I was able to eat most of my lunch before discovering it, and nothing was harmed. I suppose the big deal here was that I could have been greatly harmed; had I chomped down on that thumbtack rather than discovering it by sight this whole story would be very different. But that's not what happened, so I couldn't bring myself to be bothered. In the end, another teacher took it to the front desk and asked them to do something about it. This resulted in profuse apology to me from the Chinese staff and seeming outrage from the school janitor who assured me that the restaurant has been called and dealt with. Something in my manner seemed very surprising to them, however, when I just shrugged it all off, offered my thanks and told them it was no big deal. "Really, don't worry about it! It's OK. What can the restaurant do? How do you take measures to prevent thumbtacks from falling into food?" I said. They looked at me open mouthed and shook their heads at my unconcern as they left the teacher's office.

At the time I figured they were thinking, "Crazy foreigner! How can you not care about something like that?" as they shook their heads. But I was later forced to admit that their surprise might have come from a different thought process. Namely, "All other foreigners would have thrown a fit about this... your actions surprise us because we were led to believe foreigners would scream and yell in this sort of situation and you did not."

Now here's where I have to make a huge confession. Something that has always been hidden inside me and that I've never really liked about myself.... I'm terrible at traveling/ being a traveler. You know why? Because I always like to be in control and appear as if I know what's going on. I don't like asking for directions or appearing as if I need help. I don't like taking pictures lest people will think I'm a tourist. I have this awful pride that often prevents me from truly enjoying myself, because I don't want other people to think something is new to me. And that's bad. And it really doesn't fit with the intrepid and adventurous spirit that I like to think of myself as having. I'm slowly learning to relax and let go and let myself look clueless. Because sometimes that's OK. And in China, I really just can't blend in... no matter how hard I try.

Whew... big load off my shoulders. But even with that out there, I still believe that there is something to be said for trying to blend in to a culture not your own. A month or more ago, Steve and I stopped by Hamamas (pictured and described in our photo album) to grab some Western grub. There was an older, larger, white gentleman there with a Chinese woman friend. He was speaking slowly to her about many things, trying to educate her in Western ways and possibly giving her an English lesson. From what we overheard, this man was American and he had lived in China for a while at least. In fact, he had just returned to China after a visit home to America. His manner and conversation topics were somewhat annoying to Steve and I, who couldn't help but listen to his loudly stated opinions. But what really made us hang our heads and be ashamed to be white/American/Western was when this man's bacon was delivered to him. He was angered that it wasn't cooked to a crisp, and apparently he had discussed this with the staff before. In fact, he kept asking them if they remembered him, and sounded quite shocked to find that they didn't. But anyway, he proceeded to tell the waitress, "This bacon is not cooked enough. ALL AMERICANS will tell you the same. I want it cooked more and in the future remember that ALL AMERICANS will not accept this." Now.... first off, Steve and I love the bacon and how it's cooked there. Second... NEVER make blanket statements about your country. UGH! Thanks a lot man... now the waitresses think that ALL AMERICANS are jerks and ingrates. Great ambassadorial work there, man.

And that's the sort of thing that makes me revert to the other end of the spectrum. I just try to blend in, be appreciative, and avoid situations that require confrontation. And there are times when this approach is inappropriate or causes me to miss out on something that might have been cool, but I have constant fear of being that foreigner who forever shapes the opinion of a Chinese person. Because the fact is that they may only ever see a handful of foreigners and maybe only interact with one or two of those. We are constantly on display and in a position to be criticized or looked down upon. Like it or not, our one meeting with a Chinese person may form their lifetime opinion of Americans. So I hate it when I see foreigners take the attitude of, "It's not my country and no one will care here. They can't speak English, so what are they going to say to me?" Well they CAN speak Chinese, and they can say plenty ABOUT you to their friends and family.

I hear students tell me their impressions about Americans and Westerners all the time. Usually it's somewhat filtered and they only tell me the good things. But from the news stories that their government allows them to see and from the one or two Americans they've ever encountered on the street, in general their impression of us is not great. They think we all carry hand guns and fire them into the air just for fun. My co-worker admitted to me that she thinks America is very dangerous. They think we all party constantly, because that's what the kids on the OC and most of the foreign teachers do. One student swore to me this weekend that you had to get a license to wear high heels in America. When I tried to tell him this wasn't true he would not believe me because he had read an article about it.

But this conversation always gets turned around. Students always want to know what I thought of China before I came. And honestly, I don't remember. I just spent my 23rd birthday in China, and the first time I was here I spent my 19th birthday. In between I did a lot of study on Chinese history, society and culture. So my opinion has been greatly changed and shaped. I try to stop and think what other Americans think about China. So tell me, what do you think? How do you picture it? Do you think of dragons and silk dresses and monkeys and open air markets? Do you think of bicycles and rickshaws? Do you think of opressive government and undying nationalism? Has your opinion been formed by one Chinese person that you met or saw? Do you think of tourists with cameras around their necks at Disneyworld? Or do you think, "I've never been there. I don't really know what to think."??

I really would like to know. Honest thoughts and opinions on China that have not been influenced by any of my posts? I'd love to see your comments.

-Jaclyn