Foreigners

The other day I was eating my 香辣鸡片儿 (xiang1 la4 ji1 pianr1) during a short lunch break on an otherwise long Saturday, generally enjoying the fine, oily, crispy greatness of it all (crispy fried chicken slices with hot red peppers, carrots, and spicy green pepper.. mmmm). Well, not so much enjoying as devouring... I quickly swallowed most of it, being quite hungry after teaching two classes on an empty stomach. Upon nearing the end of the heavenly dish, I gently set aside a carrot to uncover one of the last green peppers.... only to find a large silver thumbtack. You know, the kind your kindergarten teacher used to use to pin your stick figure art to the bulletin board. And there it sat, piercing the delicious skin of the final pepper, daring me to continue. More than anything, I was disappointed that I couldn't eat the last few bites of my meal. But to inspire some office conversation I proclaimed, "Huh. Look at that. A thumbtack. Right there in my xiang la (we abbrev. our Chinese to sound cool and knowledgeable when in the office). See?" Whereupon I proffered my dish at the others so that they could have a look see.

I was instantly implored to take it to the front desk and have them call the restaurant. This was unacceptable! A thumbtack??! Get your free lunch! Give that restaurant hell! Make sure it doesn't happen again! Typical reaction, right? Well I have to say, I just didn't care. Stuff happens. Things fall into food. Whatever. I was able to eat most of my lunch before discovering it, and nothing was harmed. I suppose the big deal here was that I could have been greatly harmed; had I chomped down on that thumbtack rather than discovering it by sight this whole story would be very different. But that's not what happened, so I couldn't bring myself to be bothered. In the end, another teacher took it to the front desk and asked them to do something about it. This resulted in profuse apology to me from the Chinese staff and seeming outrage from the school janitor who assured me that the restaurant has been called and dealt with. Something in my manner seemed very surprising to them, however, when I just shrugged it all off, offered my thanks and told them it was no big deal. "Really, don't worry about it! It's OK. What can the restaurant do? How do you take measures to prevent thumbtacks from falling into food?" I said. They looked at me open mouthed and shook their heads at my unconcern as they left the teacher's office.

At the time I figured they were thinking, "Crazy foreigner! How can you not care about something like that?" as they shook their heads. But I was later forced to admit that their surprise might have come from a different thought process. Namely, "All other foreigners would have thrown a fit about this... your actions surprise us because we were led to believe foreigners would scream and yell in this sort of situation and you did not."

Now here's where I have to make a huge confession. Something that has always been hidden inside me and that I've never really liked about myself.... I'm terrible at traveling/ being a traveler. You know why? Because I always like to be in control and appear as if I know what's going on. I don't like asking for directions or appearing as if I need help. I don't like taking pictures lest people will think I'm a tourist. I have this awful pride that often prevents me from truly enjoying myself, because I don't want other people to think something is new to me. And that's bad. And it really doesn't fit with the intrepid and adventurous spirit that I like to think of myself as having. I'm slowly learning to relax and let go and let myself look clueless. Because sometimes that's OK. And in China, I really just can't blend in... no matter how hard I try.

Whew... big load off my shoulders. But even with that out there, I still believe that there is something to be said for trying to blend in to a culture not your own. A month or more ago, Steve and I stopped by Hamamas (pictured and described in our photo album) to grab some Western grub. There was an older, larger, white gentleman there with a Chinese woman friend. He was speaking slowly to her about many things, trying to educate her in Western ways and possibly giving her an English lesson. From what we overheard, this man was American and he had lived in China for a while at least. In fact, he had just returned to China after a visit home to America. His manner and conversation topics were somewhat annoying to Steve and I, who couldn't help but listen to his loudly stated opinions. But what really made us hang our heads and be ashamed to be white/American/Western was when this man's bacon was delivered to him. He was angered that it wasn't cooked to a crisp, and apparently he had discussed this with the staff before. In fact, he kept asking them if they remembered him, and sounded quite shocked to find that they didn't. But anyway, he proceeded to tell the waitress, "This bacon is not cooked enough. ALL AMERICANS will tell you the same. I want it cooked more and in the future remember that ALL AMERICANS will not accept this." Now.... first off, Steve and I love the bacon and how it's cooked there. Second... NEVER make blanket statements about your country. UGH! Thanks a lot man... now the waitresses think that ALL AMERICANS are jerks and ingrates. Great ambassadorial work there, man.

And that's the sort of thing that makes me revert to the other end of the spectrum. I just try to blend in, be appreciative, and avoid situations that require confrontation. And there are times when this approach is inappropriate or causes me to miss out on something that might have been cool, but I have constant fear of being that foreigner who forever shapes the opinion of a Chinese person. Because the fact is that they may only ever see a handful of foreigners and maybe only interact with one or two of those. We are constantly on display and in a position to be criticized or looked down upon. Like it or not, our one meeting with a Chinese person may form their lifetime opinion of Americans. So I hate it when I see foreigners take the attitude of, "It's not my country and no one will care here. They can't speak English, so what are they going to say to me?" Well they CAN speak Chinese, and they can say plenty ABOUT you to their friends and family.

I hear students tell me their impressions about Americans and Westerners all the time. Usually it's somewhat filtered and they only tell me the good things. But from the news stories that their government allows them to see and from the one or two Americans they've ever encountered on the street, in general their impression of us is not great. They think we all carry hand guns and fire them into the air just for fun. My co-worker admitted to me that she thinks America is very dangerous. They think we all party constantly, because that's what the kids on the OC and most of the foreign teachers do. One student swore to me this weekend that you had to get a license to wear high heels in America. When I tried to tell him this wasn't true he would not believe me because he had read an article about it.

But this conversation always gets turned around. Students always want to know what I thought of China before I came. And honestly, I don't remember. I just spent my 23rd birthday in China, and the first time I was here I spent my 19th birthday. In between I did a lot of study on Chinese history, society and culture. So my opinion has been greatly changed and shaped. I try to stop and think what other Americans think about China. So tell me, what do you think? How do you picture it? Do you think of dragons and silk dresses and monkeys and open air markets? Do you think of bicycles and rickshaws? Do you think of opressive government and undying nationalism? Has your opinion been formed by one Chinese person that you met or saw? Do you think of tourists with cameras around their necks at Disneyworld? Or do you think, "I've never been there. I don't really know what to think."??

I really would like to know. Honest thoughts and opinions on China that have not been influenced by any of my posts? I'd love to see your comments.

-Jaclyn

Just some thoughts

Hey all,

I added some pictures to the Harbin and Apartment albums and also posted one of our staff trip to Crazy Lake. Check them out and see if you can figure out what the door to the left is.

It is interesting to be here 20 years after a major event and not be able to talk about it with any Chinese person that I know... mainly because they don't know about it. Not sure what I'm talking about? Check out some of these essays: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/opinion/31tiananmen.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

Every time that I've been to China, I've been struck by the contradictory nature of their society. It is often difficult to explain my observations of Chinese people and culture because there are usually two seemingly conflicting sides to every issue. For example, citizens feel little or no obligation to clean up public areas such as their stairwells or litter on the streets, but if you walk in to their houses or offices you will be struck by the attention and care given to cleanliness. Further, most pursuits in daily life are somewhat selfish: when crossing the street, driving a car, boarding a bus, or waiting in "line", Chinese people tend to put 'me' first. I must get from this side of the street to that one, no matter how many accidents I almost cause. I must get on the bus first in case there is a seat for me. I must merge into that lane of traffic... too bad if I cut off 4 other bustling lanes. And when looking at the big picture, one begins to forgive and understand that this selfish attitude is out of necessity in order to claw one's way through the ranks of 1.3 billion others. However, one of the most notable, and oft cited, differences between Chinese and American culture is China's orientation toward groups and group work and America's tendency toward individualism and independence. So I have to wonder, how is it that this group mindedness can coexist with a selfish nature? The truth is, Chinese people will go out of their way to help or host a friend or family member... they just might push a few people out of their way when buying the cherries for the party.

That is the frustrating nature of the society. China is a culture that has always revered and honored revolutionaries who went against the rest of the society to accomplish a goal and make things better for the Chinese people. At the same time, they continue to suppress new ideas and revolutionary types, and often have in the past. See? Contradiction. It seems that only in hindsight is this sort of forward thinking and action good. It makes me sad to see a nation of youth who don't fully understand their nation's history or its possible future... sad that I can't even talk about it with them, not only because I might get kicked out of the country but also because they wouldn't understand what I was talking about. They would just label me as another arrogant Westerner that didn't really understand China. And they'd be mostly right. I could never hope to understand everything about their culture and society, especially with just a few years of study and a year of first hand experience. But I know that this country is a nation full of lovely people and there is more out there for them. I don't mean western, materialistic things. I mean a purpose or a cause. A society with no religion is an interesting one indeed.

In their pursuit to be like us, they've taken a liking to our expensive, famous brands and our unhealthy fast food chains. Every person under the age of 40, and some over, that I talked to before the Dragon Boat Festival admitted that they didn't know how to make the traditional food for the festival, a type of rice dumpling called zongzi. No, their mother couldn't make zongzi either. Their grandma? Yeah, she could make them. When I asked what this meant for 20 years from now, they shrugged and said it didn't matter because you could buy zongzi at the supermarket. Even with all of this western influence, I still cause near accidents every day simply by walking down the street. I garner cat calls and "Hellos!" just for being white. They love me and want to help me, while at the same time they don't trust me or respect me. Contradiction.

Perhaps it is living in this society that has done it to me, but I love China and I hate China. I love the people. I love the traditions. I love the food and I love the challenge of crossing a street. I don't like people staring at me... I don't like the people talking about me when they think I can't understand. I don't like the food... don't you people eat large chunks of meat? I hate the traffic... can't you see that there are ways to do this better? I love the Sunshine Chinese staff. I love the feel of a Chinese city. I hate the litter... I hate that people so carelessly toss it out of bus windows or throw it at your feet as you're walking by. I love the genuine warmth of a Chinese stranger. I love the importance that is placed on education... I don't like the the education system. It's great to see people take pride in their appearance and dress smartly. I don't like when their critical eyes inevitably turn to my artfully worn and holey shoes. I love riding on Chinese buses and I love it when my students run to hug me and shout my name in glee. A full Chinese bus is the most uncomfortable place a Westerner could find themselves. I hate when that student who shouts, "Jaclyn!" and beams at me during break deliberately disobeys me and doesn't pay attention in class minutes later. Taxi drivers will honk at you and try to pick you up just because you're foreign... Taxi drivers will blow past you or ignore you just because you're foreign. Neither is desirable. A day in China is lovely or disagreeable. Exciting and adventurous or difficult at best. You love it and you wish to leave it. A true battle of the senses.

Switching tracks entirely....

Steve and I went to the Xuefu bookstore again yesterday. We hadn't been since Harbin was an icy wonderland, and I didn't recognize any of it! Steve kept saying things like, "Oh yeah, there's the building with the curvy roof," and I was sure I'd never seen the building with a curvy roof in all my years. It also doesn't help that they are building a subway in Harbin and many of the roads are barricaded with blue fences, as was the case in this part of town. So for me, everything seemed new and interesting. We had a look through the bookstore and then strolled through the surrounding area. This particular area is home to two of the large universities in town, and we saw a student dressed in cap in gown having his friend take some pictures of him around his campus. There were also lots of street stalls offering 'fast food' and wares being proffered everywhere you looked. I had bought several books in the book store (Northanger Abbey, Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Vol. 1, and Out of Africa... only the classics are offered because they are for students of English) and my shoulder was beginning to resent the fact that we'd gone to the bookstore before walking the streets, so we took a bus home. But first, we noticed a sign advertising chocolate donuts! That's right.. chocolate donuts! It was a fast food chain specializing in fried chicken called Dicos ( a Chinese version of KFC ). We weren't at all hungry, since we had eaten a large lunch, but we grabbed some chocolate donuts to go and ate them this morning for breakfast. Not too bad!

For now, Steve has gone to teach his 1:00 o'clock class and then has a long break before his 5:30. I'm waiting for my 4:30 start time. We've enjoyed having all of our windows open for the past few weeks. The weather has really been great, but now we're getting in to rainy season. There is rain in the forecast everyday for the foreseeable future, but it doesn't always come to fruition. It didn't rain yesterday, for example. But as long as it's raining, the temperatures stay in the high 60s or low 70s, so you can't complain! And the sun is now coming up at 3:45, so you've got a lot more time to enjoy the cool temperatures. The sunset (pictured) is around 7:30.

Having the windows open leaves you a little more susceptible to the many and varied sounds of a Chinese neighborhood. We usually wake up to the banging of plastic buckets and the long, high-pitched cries of "recycling men" (for lack of a better term). These men [and women] ride around banging on their buckets or shouting out their presence in case anyone within ear shot has some bit of recycling to give them. This includes everything from bottles and cans to scraps of metal or cardboard and old refrigerators. Of course, there is the constant honking and the sounds of trucks and buses braking. We also have been hearing someone play a flute, or similar instrument, quite a bit recently. It would seem that this person has just taken it up and is practicing with determination, because I can constantly hear the same patterns and notes floating out of a nearby window. It would also seem, however, that the flute player has not contracted a tutor or learned how to read music... Just now I heard a large piece of metal hit the ground and a few weeks ago we heard the constant pounding of bricks into sand as all of the sidewalks around our neighborhood were redone. And of course, you can always hear voices. The other night we heard a pitched and feverish argument between a young couple, wherein the woman was crying and yelling in that hoarse, somewhat unintelligible way that people yell between sobs. All very interesting.

And that's about all I can think of to say.

Good morning, Good night, or Good afternoon! Choose the one which best applies...

Love you all!